Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
