So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
