As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize