it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
