yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
