So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
