drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize