she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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