hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
