Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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