margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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