too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
