okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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