We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
