dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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