hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
