i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
