hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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