That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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