not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
