i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
