my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
