I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
