i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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