"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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