I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Such a big mess for such a small penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
