Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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