I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
