Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
