yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
