never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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