They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
