im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
