She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
