Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize