Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
