Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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