if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
