If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
