I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
