Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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