so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
