Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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