i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
