Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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