My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
