Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
