you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
