I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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