Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i love accidental penises.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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