So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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