So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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