i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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