worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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