A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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