So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
