Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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