I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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