I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
