thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize