The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
