I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
