It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize