Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
