kristin has been a bad kristin
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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