I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
