No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
