So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
