Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
