Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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