loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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