i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
