They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
