You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
