I cockslap morals
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
