yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
